Miscellaneous Maths humour  text.
Question: Pick three words to describe yourself.

A Roman walks into a bar and holds up two fingers.

Did you know that SIX without S is 9? 
Did you hear about the mathematician who is afraid of negative numbers?

I just saw my maths teacher lock himself in his office with a piece of graph paper.

A physicist, a biologist and a mathematician are sitting on a bench, watching people entering and leaving the house on the other side of the street. First they see two people enter the house; A while later, they watch three people leave the house.

Q: What did 2 say to 3 when they saw 6 act like an idiot?

Q: Why did 4 not ask 5 out?

Q: Why is 69 afraid of 70?

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar.
The first one says "I'll have one beer".
The barman interrupts them and pours two beers and says: "OK guys. You should know your limits". 
People who are good at maths can do anything  even English.
For example, one day the English teacher asked the class what a palindrome was. The student down the front (who was also good at maths) answered "a six is a six is a six is a six is a..." 
Exciting news!! I just got my tickets for this year's Fibonacci Convention.

A farmer was telling me about how good his dog was at maths.
"Watch this" he said. "Shep, what's seven plus two?" And the dog barked ten times. "OK, Shep, what's fifteen plus four?" And the dog barked twenty times. "He's very good" I replied "but he's a little over." "Yeah" answered the farmer "old habits die hard, he's just rounding them up." 
Median and mode walked into a bar one day.
The bartender said to them 
Q: Why did 1/5th get a massage?

Q. How do you draw a perfect square using only 3 straight lines?

Friend 1: The person who invented the clock said there would be 12 numbers on it.
Friend 1: No  24.
Friend 1: The day will start at 12 which is at night.
Friend 1: The 6 means 30. 